This One Simple Parenting Trick Will Make Weeknights Instantly Less Hectic

And it only takes two seconds.

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When I was growing up, my job before dinner was served was always to set the table and light the candles. My mom played dinner music—jazz or classical—and my parents and I sat down, by candlelight, to talk about our days.

These days, the glow around the dinner table is often courtesy of technology (see: phone screens), not tapers, but that thankfully seems to be changing. As the days get darker and the cottagecore trend shows no signs of fading, many people—parents, in particular—are reviving the tradition of dinner by candlelight, so much so that the trend has even taken hold on TikTok, and the candle industry is, quite literally, on fire.

“I used to only bring out candles for special occasions but I realized that every meal—whether it’s simple pasta or takeout with my kids—deserves a bit of that glow,” said Heather Taylor who runs the home goods line Heather Taylor Home.

Alyson Morgan, author of Our Kindred Home, started using candles at meals when her children were small but has continued the tradition in her Wisconsin farmhouse. “They take us out of the digital and into an analog experience,” she says. Alyson says she enjoys being able to turn off harsh artificial light and “connect to our inner light in the darker months of the year.”

Whether they’re tea lights, large pillar candles, or wax poured into fun or quirky shapes, there are candles to suit every design preference (see below), but most agree that taller taper or pillar candles work particularly well on the dinner table, though the candle-curious can also scatter them around the room or use tea lights to keep the glow going. Alyson does suggest staying away from scented candles at the table. “Perfumed scents are overwhelming to the senses and can crowd out the appetizing aroma of what’s cooking,” she says. Food writer Alicia Kennedy, who pens the popular newsletter From the Desk of Alicia Kennedy, gets all her candles in white so they fit all occasions from the holidays to everyday.

Kennedy also collects matchbooks from her travels and uses them to light her dinner candles. Using collected items on the dinner table can invite a moment of nostalgia for other times spent together. “As a food writer I’ve always paid attention to plating and aesthetics,” Kennedy said. “This is just a new level of care that we can bring to what we do every day.”

Country Living editor-in-chief Rachel Barrett, who also keeps vintage matchbooks on the dinner table in an antique silver Revere bowl, says the tactic has transformed her own family's weeknight dinners. "As the parent of two young kids who have way too many extracurriculars, dinnertime can feel so hurried and hectic. There's something about lighting a candle that allows us all to reset and focus on the present moment, even if the kids are still in their soccer cleats." She also points out that children find comfort and safety in rituals and traditions, and this is an especially easy one to introduce.

“Aesthetically, candles add this cozy vibe that I love, but they also have this subtle way of slowing us all down,” says Heather. “Even on our busiest days, lighting a few candles signals that it’s time to gather, pause, and connect.”

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